Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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