Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
