oh god the rape fog is back!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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