I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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