People in love make me want to vomit
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
