Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
