she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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