Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize