it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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