I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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