So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
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