I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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