He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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