If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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