So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
