It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just invented taco cereal.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
