Me too!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
