i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
