sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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