She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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