3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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