at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
