at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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