we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
