We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
