i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
