clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
