If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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