Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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