Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you traded sex for a burrito?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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