Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
