i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize