I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
