Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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