So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
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in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
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I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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