All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
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