operation have a gay friend backfired
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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