Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
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haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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