i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
