Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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