No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
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