are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
