hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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