ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
