Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
