I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize