It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
