Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
