Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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