yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you never un-have a 4some
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
