And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
