He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
