there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
