what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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