No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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