at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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