we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
