I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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